World Cup Banzuke
Six days in and we've seen each team play once in the World Cup. I don't think the event could have started the first round of games and ended that first go around with any better matches than we saw with Germany - Costa Rica and Tunisia - Saudi Arabia. I had to laugh after reading Simon's first report where he branded the German style of football as boring. The Germans began the festivities with an exciting performance that netted four goals. Then the next day Simon's own team of the three lions comes out against Paraguay and gives us probably the most boring effort of the cup so far. I got up at 7 AM on a Saturday morning to watch that? Sure, England played better than the USA, but at least the yanks made it exciting by walking into the Czech Republic's trap and giving up some great goals. In my first report, I posted an email from Adrian, a fan in Mexico, where he speculated on what rank a few of the teams would be if ranked the same as sumo rikishi. Now that I've seen each team play their first match in the World Cup, I've taken the liberty of coming up with my World Cup banzuke comparing each team to mostly current rikishi and a few from the past. Here are my ranks from Yokozuna down to Komusubi with a few Maegashira thrown in for good measure:
Brazil = Yokozuna Asashoryu: This is an easy call. A record five World Cup titles, they dominate, their execution is absolutely precise, and they are beautiful to watch. Sure, they looked a bit vulnerable against a good Croatia team, but Brazil has earned their rank.
Germany = Ozeki Tochiazuma: Boring attack...er...uh...exciting new offense, three World Cups titles to equal Tochiazuma's three yusho. The Germans are a stable team that can win it all each cup and performs well with their backs to the wall. Like Tochiazuma early this year, they are on the cusp of Yokozuna promotion.
England = Ozeki Kaio: A powerful force indeed with unlimited potential, but stupid losses keep them from true greatness. Yes, they've taken the yusho when everything fell into place...namely, home field advantage. I like England's squad, but as Simon says, their coach has them looking like chicken's running around with their legs cut off.
Italy = Ozeki Chiyotaikai: My man Adrian said it best, "like Chiyotaikai they just have a good rank, but haven't done anything decent recently."
Argentina = Ozeki Hakuho: These South Americans are capable of rising up and punking anyone. Maradona's hand-job goal in 1986 setting up their only yusho equals Hakuho's penchant for strange tachi-ai on senshuraku.
Portugal = Ozeki Kotooshu: These guys have great ability but lack the mental toughness to go all the way. They proved in 2002 that they can easily get rattled with an early loss.
Czech Republic = Sekiwake Miyabiyama: These guys are capable of beating anyone, and like Miyabiyama, they are better then some of the Ozeki. The lack of Miyabiyama's competition in May equals their first round opponent, the US. Still, the Czechs are officially in the 2006 yusho hunt.
France = Sekiwake Kotomitsuki: They are solid but probably not a major player. But hey, like Kotomitsuki, France does have that one yusho. How about France's attack against Switzerland in that first game? Talk about going limp close to the box. Shoot the damn ball already instead of pooching it into the box. It reminds of one of my favorite France jokes: Why do French guys make lousy lovers? Sorry about that...let's move on.
Oh all right, here's the punchline: Because they wait until the swelling goes down. Moving right along...
Netherlands = Sekiwake Akinoshima: Yeah, I know Akinoshima is long gone, but talk about a bulldog of a team. I don't think they can go all the way, but the Netherlands will constantly threaten Ozeki promotion.
Spain = Sekiwake Wakanosato (in his prime): Yeah, I know Spain just pounded Hokutoriki in their first game, but I think these guys are the perfect barometer for everyone else. Can't beat Spain? You're not good enough to yusho. It was nice to see the Spaniards finally get a good break in the World Cup. Remember that fluke loss to South Korea last time when two goals were waived off? Spain has a cake walk through to the quarterfinals; it's good to see. They're an exciting team.
USA = Komusubi Kisenosato: Yeah, I know that the USA got their asses kicked in the first match, but what new Komusubi doesn't on day 1? The USA are relative newcomers to the upper echelon of the sport, I don't think anyone wanted to face them coming in, and they can beat almost anyone on one day and totally lose focus the other. Oh yeah, and we're also cocky sumbitches.
Mexico = Komusubi Asasekiryu: Sorry Mexico...you're a sound team, but the USA qualified ahead of you and punked you in the round of 16 four years ago...take the West slot and stop griping. Like Asasekiryu, Mexico has great technique, but they lack that power to really make a threat.
Sweden = M1 Kotoshogiku: Sweden is an often overlooked team and can frequently punk the Ozeki. I actually had them slotted in the sanyaku until I saw their performance against Trinidad and Tobago.
Japan = M2 Futenoh: Lots of potential, but just can't seem to put it together when it really counts. As bad as that USA loss was, Japan's isami-ashi effort the previous match was unbelievable. How does a team go from a certain three points the first 84 minutes, only to find themselves with zero points and a goal differential of -2 ten minutes later? Nice choke job there Zico Japan.
South Korea = M3 Kakizoe: Yeah, they're under-sized a bit, but they are feisty. Oh, and by the way, can South Korean fans be any more annoying? Hopefully there are none that work in your office. I'm not as fortunate. You do realize that you had to come from behind to beat Togo don't you? And that guy on your team, LEE Chun Soo. He scored one helluva goal against Togo, but does he realize he has a dead animal glued on top of his head?
South Korean fan = That guy at the Tokyo basho who wears a gold top hat and a red and white jacket and sits about four rows back waving a gold fan around whenever the Japanese rikishi beat a foreigner.
Switzerland = Kyokutenho: Not very exciting to watch, but they can lull even the strongest team into a stalemate.
All African teams = Ama: They really don't belong in the same weight class as the heavyweights (as if the US does), but they are all exciting to watch and it's always fun to watch one of them make a run as Senegal did at the last World Cup.
Australia = M11 Takamisakari: These guys are the darlings of this world cup. I just haven't seen enough of them to comment on their technique, but they are exciting to watch, and they performed pretty well with their backs against the tawara versus Japan.
I've missed a few teams, but we still have two more rounds of group play to go. I'll chime in again as I see fit. Poland proved today against Germany that you can't take any team for granted. How about the emotion in the stands for that match? That's what makes the World Cup so great. It's pure passion. I mean, I can watch swimming competitions, speed skating, men in frilly blouses on ice skates, water polo, and on and on and actually enjoy it because it's international competition. Then you throw in an actual mainstream sport--well the most popular sport in the world--and the drama is unparalleled. The jobansen is in the books and it was fantastic. We've got two more go-arounds and then what promises to be one helluva tomoe-sen in two weeks. See you all soon.
World Cup Comments
What do football and sumo have in common? Uh...the football athletes aren't really fat although Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, and certainly Diego Maradona come to mind. And...uh...the sumo rikishi certainly don't fall to the dohyo writhing in pain pretending that they're injured. No, there are hardly any similarities in the sports themselves, but the common ground lies in the passion that we fans have for the sports. When the sumo headlines I scan everyday start reading like "Asashoryu donated 500 satchel bags to students in Mongolia" and "Nichidai University won it's sixth straight college sumo title," it's time to look elsewhere to get us through until the next basho. And that elsewhere is the World Cup baby! Let me begin my comments with a few disclaimers: I know as much about football as Michael Jackson knows about the female anatomy. The number of digits on my body (21) is greater than the number of total participants I can name on all 32 teams in the World Cup finals. I pronounce the last name of France's superstar HEN-ree. I have no idea why people in Brazil have only one name. And as far as I'm concerned, Pele's claim to fame was his starring in that Sylvester Stallone film, Victory.
I'm also fooling myself if I think I can add any sort of analysis beyond what is already out there. A footy expert I am not, but a passionate World Cup fan I am. I have a couch, I have a remote, I have the means to record every match while at work, and I can't wait. Hopefully, a few of us at Sumotalk and a few guest contributors can harness some of the pure passion that the World Cup generates into some entertaining pieces as we allow the greatest sporting event on earth to carry us through until the Nagoya basho.
Let me kick it all off by sharing a great email from Adrian Garcia, a fan from Mexico:
"Hello guys! This is a big sumo fan from Mexico, my name is Adrian. I've been following your basho's comments for a year now. Thankyou very much! I really enjoy printing your everyday's comments and reading them. Also (I don't know why) I'm looking forward for reading your opinions on the World Cup! but guys, do you know football as well as you know sumo? Anyway, it will be very nice to hear your opinions. Maybe the World Cup's Yokozuna will be Brasil, don't you think so? Oozekis might be...mmmm...lets see..Italy (like chiyotaikai they just have a good rank, but haven't done anything decent recently), Argentina, Germany, England and Holland. Sekiwake would be France and Spain maybe? Komusubi...Croatia and Portugal? ...just wondering."
So it begins. Germany - Costa Rica can't come soon enough.
from http://www.sumotalk.com
